


the problem of physics

by Anonymous



Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Asano Gakuhou's A+ Parenting, Fix-It of Sorts, Gen, Happy ending???, Hurt No Comfort, No Beta We Die Like Korosensei, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:33:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26254210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Hopefully, the sheer absurdity of Asano Gakushuu, the perfect Student Council President, willing trekking up E-3’s mountain to throw himself off a cliff that won’t kill him is enough to make whoever it was, doubt their eyes.In which Gakushuu is fascinated by Akabane Karma and it's not in the way you think.
Relationships: Akabane Karma & Asano Gakushuu, Akabane Karma/Asano Gakushuu
Comments: 24
Kudos: 383
Collections: Anonymous





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> oh yeah, there's like, explicit suicide attempts and all the baggage that comes with Gakushuu. Please read at your own description, but I do want to emphasize that this could be really triggering to some people
> 
> the gakushuu/karma could definitely be read as romantic or platonic, whatever sparks joy!

Gakushuu has heard a story regarding the worst thing that has happened to Kunugigaoka Junior High in a long time (Akabane Karma) and a cliff that breaks at least twenty-something federal regulations. This is when he decides today is a perfectly good day to go on an afternoon stroll to a forest after swiping a map from the Principal’s desk. Though, he doesn’t think he needs it anymore.

Summer break is nearing its end, the sun reaches dusk just a bit quicker as the clock counts down. 3-E are set to return soon and Gakushuu will soon need to descend. Spending time up in this place isn’t quite the same with government agents breathing down your neck—and there’s the kicker, isn’t it?

It’s strange, how Akabane could’ve survived such a fall if the rumors are correct. The drop is near the height of thirty stories from the ground and any footholds are too small to make a difference. He supposes the trees, they’re quite big, could’ve caught the redhead, but that’s a slim possibility. 

Gakushuu has always been taken by the scientific method, so really, there’s a simple conclusion to draw. He steps closer to the edge and estimates that, yes, his neck will snap like pencil lead at this height and takes another step.

A breath in, a breath out.

The roofs of Kunugigoaka have always been too low, the worse it could do was a coma (the secret files in the Principal’s Office aren’t so secretive). Even then, it’s not all that hard to calculate with the time he’s begun to spend on it.

He breathes in, long and slow, and thinks that it’s alright if he doesn’t find 3-E’s secret in this lifetime. The edge of the cliff is a step behind him.

Falling has a thrill to it. The pull of gravity. The rush of cold air. Defying winds. 

The point of acceleration and equilibrium that makes it so that the world is the one rushing by. 

Was this what Akabane felt? Caught between worlds and every cell of his body screaming that he’s alive and soon he’ll—

Stop.

Stop falling because there’s a net to cushion the fall hidden within the canopy of trees. Because _of_ _course_ , they’ll put up something like this.

Gakushuu doesn’t move for a long time, facing the sky with his limbs sprawled around him on the net. There’s a sharp sting in the parts his of skin where the ropes of the net dug into, and it was a mistake not to bring his blazer.

The clouds are languid, almost mocking when his brain automatically categorizes them into their respective groups. It’s a small mercy when his mind doesn’t want to calculate the sizes and altitude. 

He should pick himself up soon, close his eyes, and walk out of this mountain as if nothing has occurred. That’s the thing the Principal expects of him because he is the man’s son and an Asano would be caught dead before losing their composure. That’s the reason why it’s been years since he has last seen the woman that gave birth to him.

But no, he instead closes his eyes after the sky begins to redden, listening to the clicks of cicadas and hopes that today’s walk wasn’t a fluke after all.

-

The tattered moon is what he wakes up to, high above. Even in the dim lights, he could see the angry red marks marring his already bruised flesh that only bleeds somewhat—it could be worse. 

There’s a dull ache at the base of his neck from sleeping on the net, and he can barely feel his left hand but that’s to be expected.

At this time of night, Kunugigaoka might as well be a ghost town with the lone security guard on patrol. Sneaking past them is something even a grade-schooler could do.

In the corner of his eyes, he sees a singular lit window and, of course, it’ll be the Principal’s Office. Not that he could bring himself to care anymore (he does, no, he doesn’t, yes, he does), it’s a relief at the same time. There will be fewer questions this way.

The Principal’s home is a cold thing, clinically clean with an everlasting smell of aseptic and air fresheners. His room is as he left it that morning and the air conditioner that’s deafening in the silence. In the corner of the room is his desk with still-opened textbooks and unfinished notes and Gakushuu knows that he’s been out for far too long.

He lost two—no—three positions to 3-E due to his negligence (the Principal cooly informed him of such). So when he sits down on a chair that makes his back scream, Gakushuu realizes just how empty he is.

Perhaps he’ll visit the cliff tomorrow also, with a pair of scissors this time around.

-

E-3 returns with bright chatter and past events behind them (no, it’s not). The school must have sent a janitor of sorts up to maintain the courtyard and stairs which was… out of character at the very least. The security cameras had been turned off too, but no one thought much of it when nothing went missing—it was the janitor, you know how pissy the admins are about ‘wasting resources’. So it was fine.

Probably.

Life goes on, as normally as it possibly could for a class like theirs. Two new transfer students and a few kidnappings, nothing truly life-threatening.

-

Kevin and his friends are lying in a pool of their blood and the Principal (his Father) is in the middle of it with knuckles that won’t bruise. 

It’s because he’s a failure who couldn’t beat the worst class in the school.

Gakushuu meets the man’s eyes and they’re the same color as his own and the same shape and the same light to it, they have the same hair color and facial structure and, and wonders how many years will it take before he becomes a complete carbon copy and he can’t breathe and the smell of blood makes him choke and the Principal is smiling and the Principal is walking closer to him and the Principal is speaking and he.

-

He has to be better than that man, he _has_ to. One way or another.

(Then, he looks into a mirror. It takes everything not to crack the glass.)

-

The net won’t break.

_Why won’t it break_?

-

It was only when the Cultural Festival arrived when one of the gatherers found something admittedly _off_ about the forest. The hunter-gatherer teams kept coming across certain oddities that just didn’t add up.

The first sign was well marked and used path to a certain cliff Karma was briefly acquainted with. Then, it was the immaculately kept college textbooks and an ungodly amount of energy drinks found stashed in bushes and trees around that area (no, Maehara definitely didn’t trip on one of them while searching for berries and landed face-first on the gravel).

When they find the time to send an (informal, unauthorized) investigation team (because no one has the time to trek up a mountain and that leaves their restaurant barren), they examine the cliff to come out with more questions than answers.

Their mysterious visitor was most likely a student rather than a janitor, who spent quite a bit of time here. It’s _believable_ that a student might take interest in a remote mountain that just happens to be on school grounds, perhaps for the annual science event the high school hosts, but what couldn’t be explained were the bloodstains.

Karma and Nagisa are the only ones aside from Koro-sensei who understand the full circumstances of that net. They share a brief look, then to the bloodied net, and how someone tried to remove it, and their veins become ice. There’s a real chance the student is from A-3. Everyone else, when they hear the context, it’s if a fire has been snuffed out. Terasaka looks as if he was about to puke.

The concept is ironic, really, how assassins-in-training react when they come face to face with death (no, not really).

Those who’ve been at Kunugigaoka the longest are well aware of the school’s policy regarding suicide. To look away and avert gazes as they clean the stains off of the pavement. There’s a reason why the roofs are off-limit.

“L-let’s go back, guys,” Okuda stammers out after what could be an eternity, and reaches to pull Nagisa away.

The walk back was quiet.

-

It’s probably entirely due to the Principal’s genetics that Gakushuu hasn’t died of a heart attack at 15. Perhaps if he had parents, they would’ve stopped him from brewing coffee with energy drinks where the water should be. Actually, it’s entirely Class A-3’s fault for being a group of useless layabouts, sheep whose only talents are sticking their faces into textbooks. The only one quite up to par with—what is at this point—Gakushuu’s abysmal expectations is Ren or Araki (who’s barely there).

But the Principal had told him to make this a success and he _will_ , damn it.

When the caffeine settles in, he’s able to breathe again. It’s been a while since he had slept for more than two hours at a time, but the Principal could go on for twice this length so why is he even complaining.

A breath in, a breath out.

Right, Gakushuu should be thankful for this opportunity to strengthen his bonds with the investors and prove himself to the school(, the Principal, Class E-3, Akabane). Everything is going so smoothly, he shouldn’t be the one to ruin that when the layabouts in his class are already all too willing.

A breath in, a breath out.

Perhaps it’s because he hasn’t been able to visit the cliff these last few days, even if he knows he has gotten far too dependent on it for his liking. With E-3 back, it’s getting increasingly more difficult to do anything on that mountain without getting caught. There’s that big international secret the Principal has been to extort money from the government too.

It should be fine though, no one reasonable (aside from Akabane) would go that deep into the forests.

The crowd outside has been chanting for a long time now, so he supposes it’d impossible to wait any longer. Ren nods and dons a charming smile that Gakushuu imitates, mild as milk.

The cuts and marks beneath his skin are begging in voices he’s blocked out long ago.

-

Karma was the one to deliver the news of their findings to Koro-sensei. It’s only the long-practiced facade that keeps bile from rising. 

Their teacher is unnaturally quiet for a long time, tentacles still and face set to what could be called considering.

This would be a perfect time for assassination when the target has their guard down low, but Karma doesn’t think he’ll be able to live with himself if he were to draw blood _now_ of all times. The rest of the investigation team aren’t looking so well either.

The octopus hasn’t lost his vocal cords yet, but the cheerful voice is tinged with a somberness he can’t quite put his hand on. “Karma-kun? Everyone? Listen to me. Don’t let this matter go out of this room.”

‘Everyone’s already dealing with enough,’ he doesn’t say.

“It’s a teacher’s job to handle situations like these,” Koro-sensei continues, before he pats everyone on the shoulders and leaves with each of them having something to eat.

Karma gets the logic, truly, it’s just that if the octopus knew anything about him, it’s that he’ll never let something interesting slip from his hands.

-

The blisters on his fingertips are ringing, the screams of the crowd hollow beyond belief. Ren grins at him, and he returns it with a smirk he doesn’t feel one bit. The guitar is thrown aside the moment he goes backstage, along with the microphone attached to his collar.

He smiles for the flashing cameras as he makes his way to the door, weaving across a crowd of reporters and students. Gakushuu leaves the concert easily when the second act, a well-known idol group, begins their show with a display of fireworks.

No one would notice him, the ones who do would know better than to question his decisions anyhow. 

Unconsciously, he makes his way up the mountain and towards the cliff. This time, through the backdoor route all the way across because unconsciously or no, he wasn’t an _idiot_. The mountain was currently infested with E-3 scaling it. He knows about their restaurant using the materials scavenged from the mountain because that was the job of the Student Council to organize these things.

Their profits are marginal at the moment—it should be alright. Who besides him would willingly trek up this mountain?

It should be fine if he spends only half an hour instead of his usual time. Ren wouldn’t be so incompetent as to let things spiral so far in such a short period.

The cliff is quiet, sitting off at the edge of time and the tension rolls off of Gakushuu like waves. He doesn't 'collapse' onto the ground, but it's a very near thing.

Should he try again today? Perhaps, this time, it'll work. The ropes must be wearing themselves thin at this point.

It doesn't, but he's long gotten used to that.

The old wounds are starting to break again though, and he's sure he has his first aid lying somewhere near. 

There's the sound of something taking off in a hurry, which is problematic. Gakushuu bandages himself up quickly and bolts down his metaphorical backdoor of this mountain.

Hopefully, the sheer absurdity of Asano Gakushuu, the perfect Student Council President, willing trekking up E-3’s mountain to throw himself off a cliff that won’t kill him is enough to make whoever it was, doubt their eyes.

When he returns to the Main Campus, slotting himself back into the role of the star student is easy enough. Only Ren asks where he’s been with a slightly strained smile because only Ren could read him quite like that.

-

Karma isn’t delusional, no matter how impossible the scene that just occurred seems to be. 

That was _Asano_ , Asano I’m-better-than-you’ll-ever-be Gakushuu, who had just nonchalantly walked off a cliff, arms spread out and facing an impossibly clear sky, just like Karma had done those months ago.

From his position, he wasn’t able to make out the face of the other boy but something tells him it wasn’t a sad one. He couldn’t bring himself to look down (it’s futile anyhow), because that’ll give away the game too soon and he wouldn’t want that, ah.

-

E-3 is doing very well, it sends shivers up Gakushuu’s spine when he walks to the Principal’s Office.

He leaves it with a bottle of poison in his hands that makes his stomach turn and wonders if it’s too late to attempt to break the net again. It’s not lethal, not in the dosage that the Principal hands him, yet the bile doesn’t abate.

If he were to win with this, the victory will be as empty as the house he makes his way to each night. 

There was no second option from the beginning was there? It was the Principal against his Father, the Principal against E-3, and Gakushuu has known where his position lied since the beginning.

(Gakushuu is a coward, he knows, when he walks past the bridge Ikeda jumps off and temptation has its hands around his neck but he never halts.)

-

Later, when Karma tells Koro-sensei about Asano, the octopus was gone when the last word was said.

There’s a bottle of unidentified liquid sitting on the door of one of the entrances, accompanied by a note written on a yellow Kunudon sticky note.

‘ _I was told to pour this in the ingredients._ ’

...What?

Kayano, the one who discovered it, shakes her head in defeat. The cooks and waitstaff say nothing out of the ordinary happened on their end during the day either, which was strange. The note was no doubt from a Main Campus (A-3) student, but whoever this is had enough skill to walk past trained assassins on their own territory.

…

There’s really only one person who could ever fit these requirements.

-

What he didn’t expect though, was another presence with a shock of red hair aside from his own in his usual spot. It doesn’t take a genius to know he’s been caught, even if this was a single student. 

Still, Gakushuu is prepared for this.

“Akabane,” he says as he steps out into the clearing.

“Asano-kun!” Eyes the color of dripping gold bore into Gakushuu, they don’t seem like they belong to a monster, just some lazy delinquent. “Have you come to visit little ol’ me?”

“No,” and that’s the only explanation he’ll offer. Pity wasn’t something he needed.

If he hadn’t been looking for it, he wouldn’t have seen the brief hesitation that passes the other boy’s eyes. Gakushuu tilts his head as an acknowledgment of that.

“Hm, but I heard this _was_ a pretty date spot, such a pity,” says Akabane as he makes his way towards Gakushuu, in unabashed bravado. “You know they won’t break, right?”

“I can try.”

“Why?”

And when Gakushuu meets Akabane’s eyes, he knows he’d let on far more than he ever should have. Has he lost that much control of himself?

“No, I don’t think so,” the redhead flicks a knife up into the air before catching it again. “You’re quite good at that poker face.”

‘ _Just not enough_ ’, but that doesn’t need to be said.

“I assume you know why ‘care packages’ have been showing up on my windowsill?” Akabane lifts an eyebrow at that. “And my missing textbooks.”

A snicker breaks out because of that from the other boy. “Why, haven’t you heard of flying octopi?”

Oh. The conspiracy boards make sense now.

There’s something about the boy in front of him that makes him tick, perhaps it’s the smile or the midterms that were horrifying close to beating his own.

“And don’t you know you’re a bastard?”

The grin gets wider. “That coming from the number one asshole of this school? High praises.” Then Akabane catches sight of the red marks from under his sleeves and that face loses some cheer.

-

His head is bent low and that hasn’t happened since grade school.

“Assassinate the Principal’s ideologies,” he says, the desperate edge of his voice becoming clearer with every syllable. “I’ll help you.”

Akabane looks at him with a complicated look. Gakushuu can’t help but return it with a strained smile. He’s not over last time, isn’t he?

“ _Assassinate_?” Nagisa whispers. 

“I’m not an idiot, anyone with a functioning brain could tell there was something up with this class. I was just,” Gakushuu supposes there’s no use hiding it. “Closer than most.”

The second it takes for everyone who didn’t know to put the pieces together is agonizing, but they get there. When they do, bewilderment and pity cross their faces in an instant. Terasaka has his mouth hung open and Maehara mutters something about tripping hazards before Nakamura elbows him.

Gakushuu pointedly ignores it all.

The government agent with the weird eyebrows clears his throat before something like an interrogation begins.

And once E-3 were sure Gakushuu won’t turn around and sell them to the highest bidder after reporting back to the Principal, the Octopus is out of the bag, dancing on bright yellow tentacles. It takes approximately half a second before running up to the Principal’s office and demanding why in fuck’s name did he think it was a good idea to have something like _that_ on campus was a good idea. Oh, gods, the child endangerment laws (not that Asano Gakuhou ever gave two shits about that).

Akabane looks at him pitifully, which coming from the redhead, means that he’s absolutely rolling with laughter.

He pointedly ignores that, too.

-

“I won’t give up the first position,” Gakushuu mutters to a sleeping Akabane. “But you’ll make a good second place.”

The wind is soft in the afternoon sky when their tutoring sessions have finished, sunlight passes through the windows in slow cascades that seem to make Akabane glow under the gleam. The students in E-3 aren’t much different from his idiots from A-3 (he wonders if they ever miss him), except one was as far from the Principal’s reach as possible.

“Hnn, sure,” comes from the other boy, low and languid and vaguely sarcastic.

And Gakushuu almost jumps out of his seat with a yelp. He doesn’t though, and that’s what matters.

“You’re awake.”

“Mhm,” then, Akabane opens golden eyes in an uncharacteristic move and says, “Why don’t you move in why me.”

Ah, they’ve said that sleep deprivation has a history of causing hallucinations. Perhaps last night’s decision wasn’t an amazing idea.

“It’s not a hallucination. I have guest rooms, my folks are never home and the Principal…” he trails off.

Gakushuu frowns, “You don’t need to worry about something like that.”

“The bedsheets are really soft?”

“Good for you.”

Akabane cocks a grin, “Come on, President-kun, we both know you won’t sleep in that house—I can’t possibly have my rival at anything but top performance, could I?”

(“Go get a room!” Nakamura laughs as she knocks back another cup of Gakushuu’s espresso.

What she meant by that, Gakushuu doesn’t entirely get but the fact that Akabane doesn’t understand why his proof is objectively wrong is outrageous. Maehara whistles as Hazama mutters something.)

He walks home with Akabane that day.

-

E-3 decides that they want the octopus teacher alive and he’s going to see Karma off as the other boy goes to space. Gakushuu is sure that enough international laws have been broken to warrant a small-scale war.

How he went from an occasional tutor to an accomplice-in-crimes, he doesn’t know. It starts as an afterschool (after-extracurriculars) thing because he couldn’t possibly be left alone on his cliff in peace. Undermining the Principal’s philosophy too, of course, Gakushuu’s only second to the man where understanding the system Asano Gakuhou built up lies.

(After all, who else is he but the first trial run.)

But here he is, skipping two days worth of classes and following golden eyes down a path that’ll end in nothing but tragedy. He—

He wonders why he doesn’t regret it.

It’s Karma’s fault, most definitely. Akabane has always been like that.

Perhaps it’s a sign that operating a hacked space system is surprisingly simple once he flipped through a few manuals, but that means confronting the fact that the Principal could do this in his sleep. As long as Akabane comes back in one piece so they could finish debating whether Dostoevsky was right or not (and that Gakushuu’s Russian is perfectly fine), he can’t complain.

-

“You’re going back to class,” Karma puts when the final results come.

(Second place, _second place_.)

It gets a nod in return. Karma’s house keys feel like lead in his pockets but—

-

There’s a still-healing welt across one cheek and Gakushuu is where he should’ve been from the beginning.

The water below is deep, darker than coal and the sunset before him is the color of Akabane.

A breath in, a breath out.

He calls Ren first (his first friend, his last friend). “Have you eaten dinner yet?”

“Asano—yes,” there’s static. “Where are you right now?”

Because only Ren could read him quite like that. He hums in return, before ending the call.

Then, to the boy who inspired this all, whether said boy wanted it or not. Akabane doesn’t pick up but that’s alright, E-3 had dealt with much these past days. 

That man is all that’s left now.

“Principal, sir,” Gakushuu stops himself and breathes in. “Father, I left tonight’s dinner on the counter.”

A step forward, then another, then another, then another, then.

Falling has a thrill to it. The pull of gravity. The rush of cold air. Defying winds. 

The point of acceleration and equilibrium that makes it so that the world is the one rushing by.

He’s intimately familiar with it now, even if there won’t be a net to catch him this time.

Was this how Ikeda felt?

-

“You’re an absolute asshole, you know that?” a familiar voice chokes out and Gakushuu wonders why he isn’t in between river currents.

There was another mouth on his just a few seconds ago—it was CPR—and there’s red hair framing golden eyes and is Akabane always the reason why he fails.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> an aftermath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooooo, guess who came up with another 1k
> 
> thank you so much for your comments in the last part, I treasure those dearly. I'm doing a lot better now (still swimming in stress, but better!) I think it reflects on the way this took a brighter tone?

Asano Gakuhou can pinpoint the exact moment his world ends to a single phone call. 

It was March and he hasn’t been home for days and tonight’s dinner was on the counter. He has (had?) a son standing above a river then, the sound of running water, rushing cars, and it takes everything not to hear Ikeda’s voice.

The board can wait. The government can wait. His  _ son _ —

His son is lying on a hospital bed, cords stuck on his body, and a heart monitor that makes Gakuhou want to scream. He’s pale and it’s as if Gakuhou could break him with a single touch.

Akabane is scowling at him when Gakuhou walks into the hospital. The boy is soaked from the waist down in water, hands shaking. They don’t talk. 

A nurse in glasses was the one to fill in the details, every word a wrench in his guts. In the end, it was always Gakuhou’s words.

-

Ren has flowers and homemade soup that smells distinctly of acorn noodles, the bowls come with a group of E-3 students. They all look (uncomfortable might not be the right word), ah,  _ apprehensive _ . Ren doesn’t think he could blame them when the churning in his stomach and the burning of his eyes are all carefully shoved to the back of his mind.

Asano can’t have visitors yet, according to a nurse in glasses, he won’t be until a while. It was only a miracle that Akabane managed to pull him out in time.

-

Karma refuses to move an inch from the waiting chair closest to Asano’s hospital room. The Chairman that only chooses now to act like a proper father paces back and forth with a look on his face that could very well be like his son in a few years.

Silent seething has always been Nagisa’s (and Asano’s) forte, Karma has never quite understood it. Not when he could confront the problem directly with his fist.

He thinks he gets it now when he meets Asano Gakuhou’s frantic eyes and thinks, ‘ _ When have you ever gotten the right to? _ ’

His Asano rarely spoke when it came to his home life but Karma isn’t stupid. He’s seen the building the Asano call home, how violet eyes look into his whenever the Chairman’s name was mentioned, waited outside when Gakushuu go visit the foreign exchange students from the sports festival, and saw the way his shoulders shake on the way out. 

And there are those nights when Asano believed Karma was already asleep. It’s cowardice on his part, that he lets Asano believe he was unconscious.

But Asano  _ was _ getting better, between hesitant (but so very genuine) smiles and late-night debates. That’s the part that stings. Because when Asano comes home (or, at least, used to), it’s to him and that echoing empty house they manage to fill. They were—maybe not happy in any traditional sense—but it was  _ comfortable _ .

God knows he shouldn’t have let Asano walk right into the Chairman’s doorsteps after finals.

If it weren’t for the situation at hand, the Chairman would be walking home with a broken nose (or more). Gakushuu is far more important than Karma’s petty revenge though, and he owes him so many apologies once the other boy wakes.

Eventually, visitors are allowed in and the Chairman very carefully doesn’t notice Karma walking in with him.

The nurse with glasses holds a finger to her lips.

-

Gakushuu wakes to the cold seeping through his bones and the red hair against white bedsheets bathed in morning sun and wonders if he’s made it into some kind of afterlife construct. 

But no. It’s 5:14 on a sunny day. This is Tokyo Hospital’s VIP suite, not a morgue, with an IV bag that needs replacement, and a boy Gakushuu doesn’t think he could face at this moment.

Not after the second time he’s failed due to the redhead.

Is that true though? Not the failing part, but the ‘facing Karma’ part. Aren’t there a billion and so questions he has? There’s nobody but Akabane who could have dragged him out of that river then, and it’s.

It’s nice to know that the boy cares enough. Cares more than the Chairman (his own father) for the matter.

Gakushuu owes him this much, even if he won’t be quite able to look him in the eyes.

“You—” Oh, wow, near drownings  _ do _ mess with your voice. He sucks in a breath and tries again because Gakushuu knows he can’t be alone with his thoughts any longer. “You really end up at my bedside no matter what, don’t you, Karma?” 

The soft groan Karma lets out had no business being that endearing. Then gold eyes snap open after a short second and suddenly, the IV needle in his arms becomes very interesting.

“Asano— _ Gakushuu, _ ” Karma’s words are breathless and near desperate. “Gakushuu, Gakushuu, Gakushuu.”

There’s something about the way his hands reach out but never quite touches pale skin, as if this were a dream and touching Gakushuu meant coming to terms with reality.

“What day is it?” Gakushuu asks with all the nonchalance he has in him.

“Three days.”

Ah. “I see.”

“Sakakibara came to visit, he brought soup,” and that trudges up something in Gakushuu’s chest.

Karma begins to rattle off every single visitor and events contained in three days while still not being wholly able to touch Gakushuu. It’s alright since Gakushuu hasn’t once met amber eyes.

“Has he visited?” They both know exactly  _ who _ that is.

“Yeah.”

And that’s the most they talk about that topic. 

Breakfast was a cup of yogurt and room temperature hot pockets and a promise that Ren’s soup will be rescued from the Akabane house soon. It’s nice though, nice in a way silent dinners with the Chairman could never be.

“Karma,” he looks to the dark eye bags, then to the backpack against an armchair in the corner. “When was the last time you went home?”

There’s a nervous chuckle and what he imagines to be a pout, “But  _ Gakushuu _ .”

Karma’s been staying in this place for  _ him _ , and that makes something flutter.

“Thank you,” Gakushuu sucks in a deep breath, “I know I haven’t been fair to you before.  _ This  _ isn’t fair to you.”

He feels impossibly gentle hands against his cheeks, lifting his head to face what he’s been avoiding since waking up. Eyes the color of liquid gold, of starlight, holds his and his breath catches in his throat.

Oh.

“Damn it, I want to help you, Gakushuu,” the words are as soft as a murmur, but there’s a weight to them like iron.

“I don’t know why you would,” he says flatly as if the performance of calmness could quell the heat rushing to his cheeks.

Karma takes it as a challenge. “Do I need a reason?”

Of course! Of course, there should be a reason! Why would someone like Akabane Karma care otherwise? To get back at the Chairman? But that’s already been done. What use could someone like Gakushuu be of use to him?

“Tell me.”

There’s no response.

Instead, the other boy leans in, burying his face into the crook of Gakushuu’s neck, and oh how horrible this all is for his heart rate.

Oh.

_ Oh. _

  
Gakushuu knows exactly how slow he is when it comes to rationalizing his emotions, something the Chairman can’t help but point out during too quiet dinners. But  _ this _ ? He thinks he gets it now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so i told myself i would deal with asano family fallout but apparently anya could barely handle their own daddy issues, much less someone else's
> 
> again, please feel free to leave your thoughts and such! also the person who left that delightful note on my this work's bookmarks: <3 <3

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for finishing this, you have no idea how much it means to me. The idea of this fic came to me during my monthly suicidal bout. I usually don't make this kind of content(ish) but here Anya is (which is also why it isn't listed under my ao3 handle). There are also quite a bit of references here to other works in the fandom, though they're pretty small.
> 
> this fic got so out of hand, it was supposed to be like, a fun small drabble but, ya know. Because everything Anya writes is canon divergent, oops. 
> 
> do tell me your thoughts or such and if you want to see more because I'm down to write another 4k because my seasonal depression isn't going away anytime soon though I might start on a new work soon
> 
> EDIT: Soooo, I fucked up and updated one of my fics on here and now I'm forever in shame, I'm so sorry for the emails you probably got


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